My Art in Life

blog reboot v3.0

2009-12-16T14:59:00.000-05:00

i'm kicking myself back into high gear. stay tuned world.

stuck in the now, the worst prison ever...

2009-07-09T17:39:00.001-04:00

its always great to live in the now, but one case in particular is the worst, but even here love and beauty finds its way.

smile for the camera

2009-06-12T10:02:00.010-04:00

the asian diaspora is renowned for the many poses we do while taking pictures. this site is an homage them. one

that i noticed was missing though was the checkmark. can you guess what the other poses are? by the time you go through these you'll want to do it to next time you get a picture taken of you.

ala mode: in the fashion

2009-06-11T00:10:00.008-04:00

fashion and money. its so easy to lump the two together. but how synonymous are the two? can the clever fashionistas (is there a male equivalent or is that term unisex?) find the next new look at the local salvation army or goodwill? will target, wall mart and kmart be no longer looked as bargain styles but a source for next season's look? how about a culture where wearing the same clothes with a short rotation be looked at as choice rather than a disposition of finances? i had this talk with a very special and dear friend roughly about this. and it made me think of the clothes that i have. i love fashion. i always have. as a kid i HATED kids clothes. i cried around the eighth grade because i still was small enough to wear kids clothes and all i wanted to do was rock that nautica, or tommy jacket. i used to wish i'd grow up to be 6' like russel wong (joy luck club, romeo must die) so it'd be easier to find clothes my size. but nowadays i find myself torn with my love for fashion and with necessity and materialism. is it better for one to have a wide variety of budget clothing or a small selection of designer wear? i have a box of clothing thats on its way to donation, its been about a month and i'm still finding things i can give up. but as soon as i head to the city, and walk by some of my favorite places i turn into one of pavlov's dogs. once in a fashion emergency (see below) i bought this shirt and tie w/o looking at the price. surely i could have gone to h&m and got the little ensemble for the price of the tie but i chose to do calvin klein, whom which i'm not the biggest fan of, but don't hate it either. its gotta be an american thing. the american spirit of owning your own land and being independent and then earning and getting what's rightfully yours. i think since then we blew that idea up quite exponentially. we are a culture of people that not only buys so much but hold on to so much as well. and thats not limited to how much money you have. i have always been fascinated with people of lower income having a shit load of just stuff that collects dust but there's an idea they have nothing. how many basements and storages are filled with things that we hold onto just in case? now i know some things may have sentimental value, but still, those old pair of shoes, trucker hat and faux paux piece of clothing i dare not exclude myself still necessary? how about that bike that is all rusted that you haven't rode since you were too cool for it when you got in to middle school hmm? don't lie you know you still have it. in a time of financial struggle, its not a stimulus that we should look toward to save us but personal lifestyle changes to live happy and not zealously over our need.

stroke of enlightenment

2009-06-10T19:33:00.003-04:00

all i can say is watch, this was my psychology homework, but i fuckin loved it. an amazing story and soo true and inspiring for all of us.

A World Without Filipinos pt 2: caregiving and blue collaring to others since 1521

2009-06-04T15:04:00.005-04:00

in part one of a world without filipinos, i shared an article from the Arab News Newspaper. it gave acknowledgement to the people that do a lot of the unappreciated dirty work in saudi arabia. in a nut shell filipinos are to arabia as mexicans are to the united states. as prejudice as this sounds, i'm only referring to high number of labor work that is done by filipinos and mexicans who are underpaid and taken for granted. i really enjoyed the article in its effort to acknowledge my people. however i was, what's the word, hurt? slightly offended? concerned? maybe all of those, i'm not sure.

i felt that though the article gives light to appreciate the work that filipinos do, i also felt that it undermines itself by essentially (in my view) saying that filipinos make the best servants. and to treat them well or else they'll run away. i'm not sure if i'm articulating myself clearly. but to give some example, i just feel that if i was in Saudi Arabia or Syria (and hypothetically unacknowledged as a US national) that i'd be treated fine and possibly praised for the work i was doing. however if i was attracted to someone's fine ass daughter (and lets disregard religion, or say i'm muslim or any matching religion) i'm pretty sure that shit wouldn't fly. i feel that this article views filipinos that live there as not a part of their people, but just as a group of people who work there. it encourages the arab people to learn the hard work ethic of the filipino people but nothing of "lets welcome them in our culture" or perhaps filipinos might be great lawyers or doctors as well.

filipinos are ALL over the world, from Jamaica, Italy, Saudi Arabia, and Nigeria. just look for them at the airport, hospital, nursing home, and seaport. and personally i'm just affected by this by which i see my people setting the bar low and seeing that to serve other people is doing pretty well. i believe we can do so much more. and what is well? and what is the more we can do?

maybe i can't articulate how i feel other than i just a little bothered by it all. truly we are good at what we do. and i'm not ashamed by that. we set standards in nursing (it'd be nice to see more filipino professors), make kick as car mechanics, and we are the best at being a good host and throwing parties making you leave full and satisfied. i just feel one day that little filipino boys and girls won't be pressured by their parents to be a nurse or engineer but will have the open dream to choose to do whatever and dream as big as they want to.

A World Without Filipinos pt 1: acknowledgement from afar

2009-06-03T23:21:00.010-04:00

so like basically this is mad true, and should be recognized across other cultures including the united states. yo i will attempt a backflip if i ever see a filipino date a beautiful woman from the arab empire. two backflips if i do.

An article from the ArabNews Newspaper

Monday 16 June 2008

Imagine a world without Filipinos
Abdullah Al-Maghlooth | Al-Watan, almaghlooth@alwatan.com.sa

Muhammad Al-Maghrabi became handicapped and shut down his flower and gifts shop business in Jeddah after his Filipino workers insisted on leaving and returning home. He says: “When they left, I felt as if I had lost my arms. I was so sad that I lost my appetite.”

Al-Maghrabi then flew to Manila to look for two other Filipino workers to replace the ones who had left. Previously, he had tried workers of different nationalities but they did not impress him. “There is no comparison between Filipinos and others,” he says. Whenever I see Filipinos working in the Kingdom, I wonder what our life would be without them.

Saudi Arabia has the largest number of Filipino workers — 1,019,577 — outside the Philippines. In 2006 alone, the Kingdom recruited more than 223,000 workers from the Philippines and their numbers are still increasing. Filipinos not only play an important and effective role in the Kingdom, they also perform different jobs in countries across the world, including working as sailors. They are known for their professionalism and the quality of their work.

Nobody here can think of a life without Filipinos, who make up around 20 percent of the world’s seafarers. There are 1.2 million Filipino sailors.

So if Filipinos decided one day to stop working or go on strike for any reason, who would transport oil, food and heavy equipment across the world? We can only imagine the disaster that would happen.

What makes Filipinos unique is their ability to speak very good English and the technical training they receive in the early stages of their education. There are several specialized training institutes in the Philippines, including those specializing in engineering and road maintenance. This training background makes them highly competent in these vital areas.

When speaking about the Philippines, we should not forget Filipino nurses. They are some 23 percent of the world’s total number of nurses. The Philippines is home to over 190 accredited nursing colleges and institutes, from which some 9,000 nurses graduate each year. Many of them work abroad in countries such as the US, the UK, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Singapore.

Cathy Ann, a 35-year-old Filipino nurse who has been working in the Kingdom for the last five years and before that in Singapore, said she does not feel homesick abroad because “I am surrounded by my compatriots everywhere.” Ann thinks that early training allows Filipinos to excel in nursing and other vocations. She started learning this profession at the age of four as her aunt, a nurse, used to take her to hospital and ask her to watch the work. “She used to kiss me whenever I learned a new thing. At the age of 11, I could do a lot. I began doing things like measuring my grandfather’s blood pressure and giving my mother her insulin injections,” she said.

This type of early education system is lacking in the Kingdom. Many of our children reach the university stage without learning anything except boredom.

The Philippines, which you can barely see on the map, is a very effective country thanks to its people. It has the ability to influence the entire world economy.

We should pay respect to Filipino workers, not only by employing them but also by learning from their valuable experiences.

We should learn and educate our children on how to operate and maintain ships and oil tankers, as well as planning and nursing and how to achieve perfection in our work. This is a must so that we do not become like Muhammad Al-Maghrabi who lost his interest and appetite when Filipino workers left his flower shop.

We have to remember that we are very much dependent on the Filipinos around us. We could die a slow death if they chose to leave us.

applying to grad school

2009-05-29T21:18:00.002-04:00

so i have begun the process of applying to grad schools for film. its an exciting thought, yet its daunting as well. first of all i still have a year of undergrad left, and there's a lot to do to ensure that i graduate by this time next year. but the end of that road is visible and the steps to get there is pretty clear, just filled with steps that are kind of out of my control. i'm majoring in theatre performance with multimedia art under the CUNY BA program. (which i just got accepted into). this degree is a focus on performing with various uses of multimedia in various environments. the hoops i need to get through in this program is that its a self made degree. and all the classes i'm trying to take to fulfill the degree require permission from department heads, including grad school departments.

but my mind is set on graduating on spring 2010, and i will do whatever it takes to make that possible, even if that means i have to redesign my original proposed course structure. which means i have a busy summer ahead of me. taking two summer classes (thinking mathematically and psychology) and making sure i'm registered for classes for fall that will keep me on a graduating track. because i expect that this fall quarter will be super full time for me, i need to get on the graduate school apps now, so that i don't get swamped doing too many things, and effect the quality of my schooling and applications.

each school has its portfolio requirements which is all very exciting. researching about these schools are really exciting. knowing how competitive it is to get in is intimidating. finding out how much each school is no fun either. however the prospect in getting into even one of these schools would be great. i have no expectations though, i do have favorites but i have no "fall backs" and all the schools to me are long shots. i have no real experience in film making, so really during this process i'm going in with the nothing to lose mentality. if i don't get in i'll try again possibly later after getting more experience.

the schools:

columbia film school - mfa degree in directing. notable alumni: David Brown, Kathryn Bigelow, Malia Scotch-Marmo, Joe Minion

nyu tisch school of the arts - mfa degree in directing/producing. notable alumni: Spike Lee, Martin Scorsese, Oliver Stone, Joel Coen, Martin Brest, Susan Seidelman, Joel Silver, Amy Heckerling, Chris Columbus, Billy Crystal

ucla - mfa degree in directing. notable alumni: Stephen Burum ASC, Francis Ford Coppola, Danny DeVito, Tim Robbins, Paul Schrader, Penelope Spheeris, Jeff Margolis

usc - mfa degree in film and video production. notable alumni: George Lucas, Irvin Kershner, John Milius, Robert Zemekis, Randall Kleiser, Les Blank, Laura Ziskin, Ron Howard, John Singleton, Dan O'Bannon, Michael Lehman, Phil Joanou.

london film school - ma in filmaking. notable alumni: Michael Mann, Mike Leigh, Tak Fujimoto, Franc Roddam, Don Boyd, Mark Goldblatt, Bill Douglas, Alain Tanner, Anne Hui, Joao Cesar Monteiro, Roger Pratt.

steve holt!

2009-05-28T13:56:00.003-04:00

me and charlie sometimes...

ridin and rollin bollywood style

2009-05-26T10:29:00.002-04:00

you know every time i drive and i hear this song i feel just a little bit more gangster than i should and i bump as i drive ten miles above the speed limit. and this video, i wish more hip hop videos would be like this.

You will always be my baby...

2009-05-20T00:27:00.004-04:00

Everyone had at least one person who fits this category so in honor to those people in our lives I give you "Always be my Baby" originally sung by Mariah Carey karaoke sung by Kim Dong Won. So there was one version that makes fun of him using subtitles what the viewer thought he was saying, but I personally felt that his english wasn't too bad and it was more of an accent thing rather than not knowing the words. He kills the high notes... no really the high notes got murdered and could possibly be found on the nj turnpike somewhere, or at the local korean bbq.

sup ladies

2009-05-08T18:42:00.010-04:00

sup ladies its your boy theo here distracting himself from the proprieties of doing homework and choosing to rebel and holler at the ladies of cyberspace. so like what's up? what's good? me? you know i'm good i'm just thinking of you, you, and you. all of you. i think about ya'll everyday. and like i just don't seem to get tired of it. mainly i think of you in the sense of how one hollers at a lady through the mores of technology.

today we have facebook, myspace, twitter, text messaging, instant messaging and the like...

all these are making us evolve chivalry and courting on whole new levels. which are destroying our capacity to effectively communicate how we feel on a person to person level. there is such a psychology to the technology which we use to attract the people that we like. from interpreting capitalization and punctuation to understanding what a person means by making a PDIA (public display of internet affection) by posting it on someone's wall.

i wish it could all be easier. but its not, it will continue to get more convoluted. is it just me or if you holler at someone your also sending a facebook resume to them as well? why does it seem necessary to have to spruce up the profile in preparation to be facestalked? sometimes i just want to take everything off and be like yo, call me me and figure it out. or put pictures of me that make no sense to who i am ie.. theo farming... theo altering pants at korean laundromat... theo as a crossing guard for field day at the retirement home...

or just something like this

Why you gotta get rid of the dark nuggets huh?

2009-05-04T16:00:00.003-04:00

On November 2003 McDonalds committed the heinous act of removing the dark nuggets away from white nuggets. That indeed was a sad sad day. Gone are the days of opening a box of nuggets and mastering the skill of deciphering which was which just by looking at them. Or giving your sibling/friend trying to mooch your stash the dreaded dry white nugget and basking in the satisfaction that they got duped. Hands down the dark nugget was far superior to the white. Nowadays mickey d's brags hard about having all white meat. Boo. We all know that 50% of a nugget is actually chicken and was quoted to be a McFrankinstein of a creation. So why the shift? White meat just sounds healthier. (possible racism?) Though in actuality the breast is probably more healthier than a leg or a thigh, what's the diff if only half of the actual nugget is meat? And that one of the key ingredients to hold a nugget together is the chicken skin? Money. A healthy sounding nugget is a money making nugget. Ergo instead of a customer enjoying the probability game of getting dark nuggets in all its keeping it real unhealthy taste, they by more white nuggets thinking they are being healthy. Now if the dark nugget ever made its return, i'd definitely be on its nuts for a good while. But eventually the nostalgia would be over and it would be recognized to stay away from it. It would be a sinful delicacy, just the way fast food should be (1-2 times a month). Yet "healthier" nuggets encourage more visits, tricking the weight conscious. And is it me or do the white nuggets of today taste slightly more juicier than that of the past? Back in the day the white nugget truly tasted like the pasty dry breast, now its like in the middle. Suspect much? I miss the dark nugget, bring it back, fast food companies should take responsibility and own up to not being healthy, keep it real, so people will stop thinking that they can eat a light lunch at fast food. That way people won't lie to themselves and won't feel so bad the few times they do go to Mcdonalds/Burger King/In and Out/Dick's/Five Guys/Jack in the Box etc...

r.i.p. the dark nugget 1983-2003

wake up all you suckas!!!!

2009-05-01T05:57:00.004-04:00

in lieu of the last two posts i give you the throwback post. go ahead start your morning and get that early ninety's swag when only early eighty's was old school, and late eighty's was just old music. and cartoons at 3pm... tgif on abc... throwing up a westside and being hella gangster bout it... squeeze it botttles... pixie sticks... dark meat on chicken nuggets... oh the good old days....

understanding punishment

2009-05-01T02:27:00.003-04:00

ok so, this is an actual prison in the philippines. i don't know how i feel about this. yes i do like its another form of punishment. yes i do like the somewhat positive outreach from prison to the world but the problem i have is the exploitation of these prisoners. i haven't watched these videos in a while the most famous if you haven't seen already is the thriller video. but i forgot where but in a mini documentary i saw of these guys (all of them are men the ones who aren't are in drag) many of them are political prisoners (i.e. activists), many others are still awaiting trial. so for me i see a lot of humiliation behind this hilarious stuff, and it is funny and it is positive, i just have a bad feeling there's another side to this story that we don't know about.

yo, i promise next post is gonna be mad lighter than this and last one...

understanding identity

2009-04-30T21:33:00.005-04:00

so my brother told me about this video. he told me its really funny but kinda disturbing. so i watched it. and i felt that and then some. i thought, oh how cute... then, damn those little kids are killing it... then, damn that's like original choreography... then, damn hold are they? then yo how come there are no little girls in that? then, why are they dancing a lil bit too sexy? why is this on youtube? who choreographed this? what is it for school? all these questions i had for them... but then i had to ask myself questions. is it my older tainted vision that sees these kids having fun? why do i associate their dance as baccla (gay)? is their expression wrong, or is it their art?

i grew up in a very filipino neighborhood. i grew up as an artist. from fourth to eighth grade playing basketball i collected a total of seven points all in my final year (i got a standing ovation on my first basket) from a very young age i knew sports and all the manly things boys usually do wasn't my thing, i was far more concerned with art and the philosophy of me and where i fit in a world far too big for me to imagine (seriously i once hid and cried in my parents closet because i imagined myself floating away from myself seeing how am i going to effect the world the way i want to being it so big). i was weird. i was more feminine than most of the boys. i got made fun of. i was called gay, i was called a faggot. that shit was damaging. today i'm not much different as far as being socially more sensitive being a guy. yet i'm a very straight man. but it took a long time to be comfortable in the shoes i'm in, not to say that i fully know who i am, that changes, but as far as disassociating sexual orientation with artistry and male femininity.

which brings us back to this video. as it is alone i have nothing against it. it is the plagued social notions we carry when we watch it that makes me cringe, the ignorance of those that'll watch the video, and ask not even half the questions i asked. first there is a very ugly image that is carried with pedophilia and the asian/pacific islander diaspora. i felt just really gross thinking that this is like an ad campaign for old white men to come to the philippines and holler at some kids. (not to say their only white, but to me thats the strongest image). second, from my personal experience i would bet money that those boys did that dance more than once and are going to have some serious identity issues growing up. in the philippines if you can sing you're gonna sing every party you go to, same with playing an instrument, same with dance. so those boys are gonna do that routine over and over, they're gonna get heckled, and its so my fear that they will be sheep heard to become that flamboyant. note, i have nothing against flamboyancy but i do have something with pigeon holing homosexuality to being certain types. in the philippines, gay men are always the flaming type, there's no association to men who do not fall under that mold.

so with these kids i'm just concerned with the possible lack of dialogue to identity. that they could do that dance and be straight, or do that dance and do it in a non feminine way. children should know these things and be open to the many sides of truth and humanity (adults too). they should also know that questioning your sexuality is ok and healthy, it is said that by 2050 everyone will be bisexual (see here, a great article from the homie for life's blog, while your at it read her other stuff as well). i feel that i agree with this to a certain extent. people should feel free to question sexuality and not fear it, its natural, and only through questioning you will find freedom. i'm confident that by 2050 in the US in major cities people will be more comfortable will their sexual orientation than ever before. this is because they will not be afraid to cross the line. the gay will be very gay the straight will be straight, and the bi will be bi, and homophobia will only exist as an acknowledged feeling of not exploring one's own sexual conscious.

but until then i see this video and i laugh because its cute and i cringe because i'm concerned. one day i hope there will be no reason to have that secondary feeling.

my art i haven't forgot you!

2009-04-27T21:08:00.002-04:00

hello world been too long, will be blogging shortly, just need to make dinner and gather thoughts... till the meantime, agood friend of mine showed this to me a while back, its THEATRE! its ACTING!!! he is an ACTOR!!!! one day i will pick him up to be in one of my films. enjoy.

everything happens for a reason

2009-03-27T04:08:00.004-04:00

this evening i met Bill T Jones. he is a choreographer who continually inspires me in so many ways. he's fifty seven with the body of a twenty year old. he is a beautiful old man who can dance just brilliant. when i saw his show blind date i left changed with a whole new idea of what i want to be and contribute to performance.

it was a surprise celebration of the twenty fifth anniversary of the bill t jones arnie zane dance company. both dancers of the past and present were there at the Santos Party House with a whole bunch of performers who we're great. moby djayed a dope set. ?uestlove was there briefly. but meeting bill, that was something else. because i was working the event (which came by fate that my friend who works there needed a cover) i didn't want to approach bill like some big ol geeky fan. and thats exactly what i did when he was in my vicinity the first time. second time i was talking to a friend and he came up to me! and thanked me for coming to his event, then i told him happy anniversary to which he replied how it was funny that everyone was wishing him a happy birthday, which then i told him that i thought that too and i was going to project happy birthday on the pillars of the club, and found out the last minute it wasn't and took them off. we both laughed and said goodbye like "i'll see you later." that was more than i could ever ask. just have a normal convo with my hero and have him not know that, cause i'm sure he gets shmoozed all the time.

everything happens for a reason i firmly believe that its seen in both religion (karma) and science (cause and effect). today was no doubt proof of that fate. i am so inspired and content.

.its a funny thing.

2009-03-23T00:26:00.000-04:00

why is it so much easier to be creative when your supposed to be doing something else which is usually not creative or not for your own immediate interest? a good majority of my creative endeavors have always been done late at night when i have to be up early or when i responsibly should be asleep. more often or not its rare for me to be creative when i have all the time in the world to do so and instead i opt out and do something unproductive and uncreative like play a video game or drone on facebook or the nothings on the internet. creativity really is a muscle. it needs to be exercised just as the body does and i feel we should designate time in our daily life to vitamin our right side of our brain.

...once again...

2009-03-22T19:35:00.000-04:00

i want to continue my writings here. facebook i feel is a bit too public. and yes while there is a link to this page from facebook, i'd rather people put the extra click in effort to read into the insights of my thoughts. so to my dear friends who will be reading my blog welcome. its here where i'll share my thoughts, certain life experiences, and many of the so called random happenings on the internet that tickle my fancy. the very first blog brought back so many memories. i was in the douglass campus center sitting next to the exit door on a sunny day in september. it was one of the first days of school, and i wasn't a rutgers student. it was one of the first days of school and i was figuring out that day whether to register for classes and find an apartment in new brunswick. shortly after that post i decided new york was my calling. so much has happened. much of which was summarized through short phrases in past facebook notes that is not neccessary for me to delve now. now i'm here again to parallel my art which is everything and how it threads the life i live. to those that will be reading this site, i welcome your thoughts and will read them with the upmost alacrity.

.theo.

Choices to make

2007-09-05T14:01:00.001-04:00

A crossroad. As cliche as it sounds that is where my life is at. One road leads to academia and finishing my BA degree and the other is to head to the big city and live life as an adult to pursue a professional carrer. Here I sit at the Douglass campus center, a gathering point of college students to lounge, eat and study. I don't belong here, it doesn't feel right. There is something bigger than my thoughts can possibly imagine that I have ahead, I plan that thing to be a positive and creative outlet to reach out to people in an artful manner. What exactly that thing is and how it will be created begins on the very choices I make today. I'm starting this blog for myself, to one day look back and see the road of triumphs and failures that will lead to success, (however which way success is measured). Those who read this blog are close friends and people who are in my life for a reason.